Sometimes what affects us more is the way we handle adversity than the adversity itself. Tough times come with problems, losses. And of course we are not pleased to welcome them. But they are there, irrespective of our liking or disliking them, and it’s really beyond of our part to have a grip on their coming into our lives.
But can’t we do a lot once they are already there? Can we reduce the shock that they create in our lives, because I feel the harshest of what we see in our lives is caused not by the tough time, but by how we try to handle it.
No I am not trying to be a visionary philosopher or a saint. I am trying to see myself as just another person in this rat race, who has to go through all those tough moments that life offers. So when I see myself, my friends, colleagues or anyone on the prime time of a news channel or on the front page of a magazine, I see him as a victim of both, the situation as well as his approach towards it, the later hurting him more than the former.
Look at our lives and you can see many instances in past where we could have handled the situation in a better way. I know it’s difficult. To keep it calm at the time of adversity is not easy at all. It will take a price to prove others as wrong, when they say you have lost everything and lost every chance to start a fresh. But we have to pay it. Because it is our lives and no price is too high for a second chance in life. And I tell you in the longer run of life you are going to realize how small a price that was paid that got you a chance to get up and run again! Yes it is difficult. But what is more important is it’s our life and no one else is going to do it for us. Others may console but they are not going to compensate.
Consciously we have to try to minimize the shock that comes with. When we are shaken by a tough time we are depressed and it tends to a situation where we lose the mental toughness to handle things around, which end up making things even worse. Being sad doesn’t help us in any way compensating for what we lost; but surely it drains us of our ability to save whatever is still there! So if you ask how we can minimize the shock, the simplest yet the toughest (?) answer will be by being aware of it. Being aware that you are shocked won’t be an easy thing to do. At the same time we are aware of it every time we are shaken! Confused?
The thing is whenever something happens to us that we did not want to welcome, we try to oppose it. We wish that it would have never happened, at a time when it has already happened. And we try not to accept this. All these things happen only after we are aware of what has happened! The sequence is we are aware and then we started reacting, the second part of the sequence taking the major part of time and energy. There we can make a change. We have to spend more time being conscious of what has happened, there by leaving relatively less time to react to the happenings in an ugly way. Soon we will be conscious more of what is happening right now, than whatever has already happened, thus being able to take care of the present and save whatever still can be saved, instead of mourning over the spilled milk.
So the mantra is hold back when you are hit. Pause for a second. Realize that you are being shaken. Be aware of the happening and then get into the action. That would be a better deal indeed!
